Wednesday, January 23, 2013

So, yeah... Read this.

Read this. Go read it. I'll wait.

Did you read that? If there is any truth to this at all, we are fucked.

Not willing to kill Americans? That's the new litmus test.

It was fun while it lasted. Get safe.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Book and movie review

First, the book: The Joy of Hate by the always hilarious Greg Gutfeld. It's an in depth analysis of the beta-zation of America through repressive tolerance. And it's funny as hell.

I would excerpt some things for you, but I've already lent it to a friend. But he tackles the bullying issue, pointing out that the fact that everyone has been bullied means, logically, that everyone has done some bullying themselves. He also takes on the leftist idea of "tolerance means everyone agrees." He talks about working on the Death Star (Fox news), and how his liberal friends are treated when they appear on his show.

My suggestion: buy it, borrow it, download it, whatever. Read this book. As Gutfeld says in his intro, you may learn something, and at very least, you'll have read a book.

Movie review: Lawless

This movie is a rockin good time. It's about a 3 bootlegging brothers who are being squeezed by a corrupt DA and sheriff's department during prohibition. Tom Hardy (Bane in the Dark Knight Rises), Shai LeBeuf (I'm not going to look up how it's spelled. The kid from Transformers), and Guy Pierce (Memento, Count of Monte Cristo, Prometheus) make this movie fucking spectacular.

And I'm usually not a fan of the transformers kid. So that's saying a lot. He annoys me almost as much as Zachary Braff annoys everybody.

But anyway, the movie. An excellent unspoken point of this movie is that this is what happens when you make vices crimes. Vices are not crimes, they are simply means of self-gratification that people think differently of. Making a desired product illegal won't stop its production, consumption, or sale. It will only make violent people (gangsters and corrupt police officers [i.e. the ones with the most guns]) very rich, and a lot of peaceful people very dead.

Suggestion: worth the 1.25 from Redbox. Hell, I might even buy this one. The only downside of this movie was, like the DKR, I could only understand half of what Tom Hardy was saying. His accent in this movie causes him to kinda mumble sometimes.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

The road to Celiac/Serfdom

I was rereading my post about having Celiac Sprue, and I wanted to add something, because the parallels to the paths we as a nation have taken are very similar.

When I was a young child, about 3rd or 4th grade, I was constantly in the nurses office complaining of stomach pains. Someone suggested to my mom that I might be lactose intolerant (I guess these were the days before "tests"), so for 3 years, I had to drink Lactose-free milk. Ever had it? It's gross. And the stomach pains were still constantly happening. So, one day in 7th grade, I said, "fuck this," and started drinking regular milk. The cramps were still there, but they weren't any worse now that I was drinking milk again.

My reaction? "I'm obviously not allergic to milk. So I must be fine!"

In my 9th grade year, my mouth broke out in fever blisters covering my lips and my tongue, swollen and bleeding gums, and difficulty swallowing. The doctor asked if I had been having sexual relations, which I had not (I wouldn't kiss a girl until I was 17), so he prescribed me some antibiotics and told me I'd be fine.

My reaction? "Hooray! I'll be fine!"

A year later, I was rushed to the emergency room with intense stomach pains. They were ready to remove my inflamed-about-to-burst appendix, but they ran an ultrasound first. "Huh. Your appendix is fine. Guess there's nothing wrong with you."

My reaction? "Hooray! There's nothing wrong with me!"

(By now, you may have already guessed where I'm going with this, but there's more.)

When I was about 21, I had more of the crippling stomach cramping. Mind you, the stomach cramps were constant to the point that I figured this is what everyone feels like, and I just might be a giant pussy about pain. "Ulcers? I don't know. Doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you. Cut back on sodas and junk food. You'll be fine."

"Hooray! I'll be fine!"

Finally, after my 28th birthday, I had an experience so painful, so embarrassing, and so utterly horrific, I thought I might actually have contracted the plague. This time, the stomach cramps were accompanied by the scariest thing I've ever experienced: blood. In my stool. Actually, that's quite inaccurate. Blood instead of stool. For three weeks straight. I kid you not, my boxers looked like they belonged to one of Sandusky's victims. There was no stool in my stool, just torrent after torrent of blood.

So I go to the doctor and explain my situation to him, and also mention that my mother had Crone's Disease. So they give me a colonoscopy (which is every bit as fun as you imagine it) to check for Crone's. This is how the conversation about those results went:

Doctor: "Well, the test came back negative for Crone's, so you should be ok."

(After 2 decades of being told that I'm ok, something snapped.)
Me: "Wait. I don't have Crone's, but I am far from fine. I shat blood for three weeks straight."

Dr: "You may have ruptured a hemorrhoid. Just a small amount of blood can turn the whole bowl red."

Me: "... Have you ever seen the exorcist?"
Dr: "..."
Me: "This wasn't a few drops. It was gushing."

Dr. "It might be irritable bowel syndrome, but honestly, that's just what doctors call stomach pain they can't explain."

Me: "Would IBS cause a 20 pound weight drop in two weeks?"
Dr: "I, uh, don't, uh, think..."
Me: "At this point, I don't care. Tell me I have cancer. Tell me I have aids. Just please, tell me what the hell is wrong with me."

Dr: "... You might be allergic to gluten."

Me: "Seriously? Gluten? Well, if you think it's a possibility, run the tests. Gluten? Really?"

Well, turns out he was right. But I never would have known it if I didn't demand to know what was wrong with me.

Likewise, for decades, politicians in Washington have kept telling us, "don't worry. You'll be fine." And for decades we said, "Hooray! We're gonna be fine!" Instead of getting a second opinion on our daily discomforts, we fell into complacency.

And once we did get that second opinion, oddly enough from an actual doctor, we called him a quack. We derided his common sense approach, his spot on diagnoses, and we ridiculed his prescription. We opted for a new-age cure of potions and ales brought to us by the most cunning of snake-oil salesmen, Barack Obama.

Now our condition is terminal. The doctor who could have helped us has retired. The cure we sought rendered us weak. How anyone can look at the constant stomach cramping, the weight loss, the fucking blood in the toilet and say, "Hooray! I'm going to be fine!" should strike anyone as crazy, but I get it. We don't want to hear the bad news.

But stage one cancer is much easier to fight than stage 4. Getting the bad news at stage one could've helped. Admitting that there is bad news when the tumor is inoperable doesn't help much at all.

That's why I'm suggesting the Cloward-Piven approach. We are past the point of saving this country. Take advantage of them. You and I know we would do just fine without the government's handouts, but if they're handing out your money, might as well try to grab some of it back.

I hope this metaphor worked for ya. It made sense to me.

*the reason I bolded that part about IBS was that it was the most honest thing I've ever heard a doctor say.*

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

New year, new method...

Let's Cloward and Piven these motherfuckers. I mean it. Their plan was to overload the system with a bunch of useless leaches, which would bring down the country, and then they could install their socialist utopia or whatever fuckin bullshit they were peddling.

I'm referring to the "fiscal cliff" (because after $16 trillion in debt, that's when you're really in danger of going over "the cliff") of course, and the financial no-lube-or-courtesy-reach-around-ass-fucking we're about to be on the involuntary receiving end of, again. I'd like to note that Rand Paul voted against this bullshit, as well as Rubio.

But anyway, since they want to believe that governments can run on hopes and wishes and debt and magic unicorn queefs, and everyone can have everything for free, then lets help prove them wrong. I'm not encouraging anyone to defraud the government, quite the contrary. If you are a conservative who refuses government assistance on principle, reconsider it. These jackasses are going to keep raping your wallet every step of the way, no matter what, so try and get back every dollar you've ever given them.

If you qualify for food stamps, get them. If you qualify for energy assistance, get it. If you qualify for Medicare, WIC, Temporary Assistance for Needy Families, get some. Why? First the obvious: you've played by the rules and paid your fair share into the system, so get your money back. Second, the strategy: this course is unsustainable. We live in a country where kids think socialism and communism is "cool" because of Chè and Rage Against The Machine and Sean Penn. They have no idea what this future will hold, and they won't believe you if you tell them. There is only one solution: the debate is over, it's time to prove them wrong. We need to prove to these kids and moronic professors that this path leads to collapse. And once it collapses, we can rebuild it from the ashes.

It will mean the end of America The Superpower, but is that really such a bad thing? We wouldn't be policing the world, occupying more than half the planet with an insanely blowbacky foreign policy, propping up fascists dictators, orchestrating coups, giving guns to Mexican drug cartels, and fucking up everywhere we go.

The thing is, the empire is doomed. One way or the other, the American government will collapse. So get every penny you can back. If you're living comfortably, and you qualify for something like food stamps, use them to build up your food storage. If they give you cash assistance that you don't need but qualify for, get some ammunition.

In the dying America, it's "from each according to his paycheck, to each according to what they qualify for." Overload the system. Take every penny back that they've stolen from you through taxation. Forget the "let it burn" strategy. It's time to burn it down. Burn this motherfucker down.